I wasn’t always this way. I used to be smart. I used to be able to sit and read an article or a book and remember what I read when I got up 30 minutes later. I could have a conversation with someone and remember it two days later. I could actively participate in a conversation that required me to use more than single-syllable words…and say it all without taking 5 minutes of awkward silence to form in my head what I wanted I say. I could sit down and write a ten page essay on any topic without stopping to remember what I just wrote in the last paragraph. I could look at three people and in the heat of the moment call out their names correctly. I could choose one side of an issue, more serious than who stole whose Legos and whose turn it is to wear the Spiderman underwear, and present several logical and well thought out points to support my case.
As the saying goes, “the good with the bad”… I’ve been blessed with many good fathering moments in my short tenure as your daddy, and I pray many more to come. I just never realized that the bad would include losing the ability to form a rational thought and convert it into a sentence that doesn’t leave my mouth sounding like it came from an ape.
You don’t see it now, but you will. As you grow into your teenage years, you’ll start to notice it more…and you’ll think I’m an idiot. You’ll glance over at me with a disgusted look on your face as I try to counsel and guide you. You’ll think to yourself (and most likely mutter it aloud to me at least once) “dad, you’re so old. You don’t know anything about being a kid. You’re so dumb.” When that time comes and you have the urge to break my heart by saying it aloud to me, I caution you to consider this before you do: I wasn’t always this way. YOU did this to me! And revenge is bittersweet.
P.S. Oh, and before you start fighting with each other to figure out whose fault it is, you’re all equally guilty. Accept it.