A Note From Dad

This Silence

I cry out, longing to be heard.

Where are you?  Why have you left me?

I feel alone, caught in a whirlwind of emotions I can’t explain or control.

The darkness sweeps over me like a flood raging out of control.

When I cry out, all I hear is silence.

The silence is deafening.  It reminds me of this hell I’m in.

Where are you when I cry?  Can you even hear me?  Do you care?

Can you not lift a finger to offer me some comfort and take this pain?

It wears on me like a weight I can’t shake off.

How can I be happy one moment and melancholy or withdrawn the next?

Where is the joy I once had?  Am I a lost cause?  Have you given up on me?

This silence.

Reach out to me and take my hand.

I’m grasping…reaching…flailing like a drowning child hopeful to be saved.

Where is my savior?  My hero?

Who will hear my cry and take this from me?

I long for joy and laughter to return to my life.

For the energy and life to thrive, not merely exist.

Lord, I got nothing left.  I’m at the end of myself.

Oh, this silence.

Will you hear me and come to my rescue?

Will you take pity on me and pull me from the depths of this darkness?

Will you shine a light into the darkest corners of my soul and expose me?

Will you pour out your cup of grace and mercy upon me?

This silence is deafening Lord.

I long for your voice.

I long for joy.

I thirst for peace within my soul…for a stillness to overtake me.

Lord, you alone can save me from this anguish.  How long will you leave me here

In this silence?


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