Home

Sit a Spell

April 14, 2018

A Note From Dad Daily Grind, Faith, Life Lessons , , , , , Leave a comment

God: “Pull up a chair and sit a spell.”

Me: “Sure, I’ve got a few minutes. This is nice…to slow down for a minute.”

God: “It is, isn’t it. Did you notice how beautiful the rain is this morning?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s quite a lot of rain. It’s keeping me from fishing this morning, though. You know that’s why I came down to Kentucky this week, right…to fish.”

God: “I thought you came to get some rest and restore your soul. You mentioned being spiritually empty and needing some time to be re-filled with my Spirit.”

Me: “Yeah, I just really think I could do that better out on the boat with hooks in the water than stuck here at the house in this rain.”

God: “But this is nice, right? This rain sure is peaceful isn’t it?”

Me: “Yeah, sure. I like the way it sounds hitting the trees and ground.”

God: “I knew you would.”

Me: “Sure would be nice to be out on the water, though.”

God: “You’re not the only one of my creation that needs restored and fed, my child.”

Me: “Oh. Yeah, I suppose you have quite a few others to think about in that regard, eh?”

God: “…”

Me: “This coffee sure is nice. Thanks for making that possible.”

God: “You’re welcome. I like giving you the things you enjoy.”

Me: “I enjoy time in the boat. 😉”

God: “…”

Me: “So, what’s new? I just read this passage here, and I suppose you have something for me in that somewhere, right?”

God: “Do you see how the rain is bouncing off the leaves there and making it look like the bush is dancing? Isn’t that awesome!?”

Me: “Ummm. Sure, yeah that’s cool. Doesn’t really have much to do with this passage from your Word that I just read, though.”

God: “It takes a lot of work to aim each rain drop just right so it’ll hit the right leaf at the right time.”

Me: “Mmm. Yeah, I don’t reckon I ever gave that much thought.”

…

Me: “Well, this has been a nice few minutes, but I’ve got to get going if I’m gonna serve you today.”

God: “You just got here. Can’t you stay just a while longer?”

Me: “Father, you know I’d love to, but if I’m gonna be fruitful for your kingdom today, I better get going now.”

God: “Can’t you stay just a bit longer. This is nice.”

Me: “Maybe just another minute or two, but that’s all I have time for today.”

God: “Isn’t this nice, though?”

Me: “Yeah it is, but we can talk throughout the day about the specifics if you want. I really should get started with my day. I’ve got a lot going on today.”

God: “…”

Me: “What, you’re gonna guilt me for wanting to get out in the field doing your kingdom work?”

God: “I didn’t say anything.”

Me: “Oh, I thought that was you.”

God: “Since you bring it up, I don’t really NEED you to do the work, you know that right?”

Me: “True. I guess you could just snap your fingers and it’d be done, but you called me to it right? So it really is something I should get out there and do if I’m gonna do it well and bring you any glory today.”

God: “Even the leaves on that bush are bringing me glory as they dance in the rain.”

Me: “So, you’re saying I should go dance in the rain?”

God: “I’m saying you don’t have to be busy to bring me glory. In fact, you simply being brings me much glory.”

Me: “Oh. But you built me to move.”

God: “I created you to bring me glory.”

Me: “But I’m wired to be busy and moving from one thing to the next.”

God: “You’re ‘wired’ to bring me glory.”

Me: “But I don’t know how to do that just sitting here doing nothing.”

God: “Sitting with me and watching my rain is ‘nothing’?”

Me: “Well, when you say it like that it sounds harsh.”

God: “…”

Me: “I know it’s not nothing. I’m sure it’s quite the orchestration of events to make rain happen like this. It’s just that…”

God: “It’s what?”

Me: “I don’t know. Its just hard to sit here this long.”

God: “I understand.”

Me: “Do you? I mean, you’re God. You can be everywhere in the world all at the same time.”

God: “I had to sit and watch my Son die on the cross.”

Me: “Oh yeah, there is that. I don’t know how you did that.”

God: “It was hard, but worth it. I did it so that we could sit and talk this morning.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

God: “It’s through Jesus that you can know me.”

Me: “Oh. Well, thank you for that.”

God: “You’re welcome.”

…

Me: “So I can go now?”

God: “I was never keeping you.”

Me: “But you made me feel guilty for wanting to leave.”

God: “No, I was WANTING you to stay and spend time with me.”

Me: “I do want to, I just have a lot to do today.”

God: “I understand.”

Me: “We can talk throughout the day.”

God: “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

Me: “Isn’t that what you want too, to talk to me throughout the day?”

God: “I want you.”

Me: “You have me.”

God: “…to spend time with you.”

Me: “We can spend time together doing the things I have to do today…two birds so to speak.”

God: “It’s not the same.”

Me: “But you’re God. You can make it the same.”

God: “That’s not how it works.”

Me: “Oh. I wouldn’t know.”

…

Me: “Well, I best get going. This has been nice.  See you out there.”

God: “Ok. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Slow Down

September 8, 2015

A Note From Dad Daily Grind, Faith , , Leave a comment

Coming off a 72 hour firehouse shift, I’m headed from one job to the next…go go go. Gotta get my laundry cleaned. The trash needs changed. The carpets need cleaned. The yard needs mowed. Need to clean and organize the garage. It’s time to start closing the pool for the winter. Gotta pack for a mission trip. Need to make sure the ministry team is equipped and ready to keep rolling on while I’m gone. The tags on the truck expired last month; can’t find the paperwork I need I renew them, so I’m off to spend the morning downtown getting all that in order before I spend another full day at the office…answering emails, returning phone calls, scheduling, budgeting, shuffling equipment.

Gonna run home this afternoon and get there just in time to meet the school bus and cram some food down their throats on the way to practice…gotta shuffle Kenpo and soccer practice into one night and still find time to do some homework with them. When it’s all said and done, maybe bath time will go smoothly enough to get some lap time with their favorite book before bedtime prayers.

When it’s all said and done, I’ll crash in a heap of exhaustion on the bed and lay there letting the frustration build as the boys are restlessly up and down, in and out of bed. Just. Fall. Asleep already. As exhausted as I am, my body and mind are telling me to sleep for a week. Yet, I’m restlessly running tomorrow’s to-do list through my mind, wondering how I can jam just one more thing into the schedule. No wonder the boys won’t fall alseep. They can’t. Can I blame them? Neither can I. Ugh.

Go. Go. Go. Seems like day after day we’re rushing from one activity to the next. Even as I type this, I’m thinking “you don’t have time to be doing this today…you got WAY too much to get done, and writing some silly little blog post is not on the list.”
Yet here I am. Unable to shut the flow words off. God simply saying to me, “Slow. Down. Just. Stop. Be. Still.”
 
So here I am. Sitting on the side of a busy street, intermittently looking up from my typing to watch the world go by. Three guys just walked past me. The first was talking on the phone, the second was reading some papers as he walked, and the third was shuffling through a binder filled with papers, literally tripping over the sidewalk as he continued on without slowing down or taking his eyes off his paperwork. Busy busy busy. Nonstop really.

Wondering when the last time I sat still and just let God talk to me…and simply listened, I open the Word to hear what He wants to say to me. Right here on the side of the road, in this moment, what do You want to say to me, Lord? And He leads me ‘The Message’ translation of Jeremiah 2:25

“Slow down. Take a deep breath. What’s the hurry? Why wear yourself out? Just what are you after anyway? But you say, ‘I can’t help it. I’m addicted to alien gods. I can’t quit.'”

And I stop. “Woah, there, Lord! I’m not addicted to ‘alien gods.’ What’s that even mean? That’s not me. That’s ‘The Message’ version anyway. Let’s see what another translations says, one I like better.”

“When will you stop running? When will you stop panting after other gods? But you say, ‘Save your breath. I’m in love with these foreign gods,and I can’t stop loving them now!” (NLT)

Well, alright then, Lord. But surely that’s not me. Let’s put in context. I’ll read on:

“When will you stop running? When will you stop panting after other gods? But you say, ‘Save your breath.  I’m in love with these foreign gods, and I can’t stop loving them now!’

“Israel is like a thief who feels shame only when he gets caught. They, their kings, officials, priests, and prophets— all are alike in this. To an image carved from a piece of wood they say, ‘You are my father.’ To an idol chiseled from a block of stone they say, ‘You are my mother.’ They turn their backs on me, but in times of trouble they cry out to me, ‘Come and save us!’

But why not call on these gods you have made? When trouble comes, let them save you if they can! For you have as many gods as there are towns in Judah. Why do you accuse me of doing wrong? You are the ones who have rebelled,” says the Lord.

“I have punished your children, but they did not respond to my discipline. You yourselves have killed your prophets as a lion kills its prey.

“O my people, listen to the words of the Lord! Have I been like a desert to Israel? Have I been to them a land of darkness? Why then do my people say, ‘At last we are free from God! We don’t need him anymore!’

Does a young woman forget her jewelry, or a bride her wedding dress? Yet for years on end my people have forgotten me.

“How you plot and scheme to win your lovers. Even an experienced prostitute could learn from you. Your clothing is stained with the blood of the innocent and the poor, though you didn’t catch them breaking into your houses!

And yet you say, ‘I have done nothing wrong. Surely God isn’t angry with me!’ But now I will punish you severely because you claim you have not sinned.

First here, then there—you flit from one ally to another asking for help. But your new friends in Egypt will let you down, just as Assyria did before. In despair, you will be led into exile with your hands on your heads, for the Lord has rejected the nations you trust. They will not help you at all.” – Jeremiah 25-37 (NLT)

While this passage was directed at Isreal, it certainly hits home for me and the busyness I’ve allowed to creep into my life…my family’s lives. My words and heart say I don’t chase other gods, but my actions often say otherwise. God says. Just slow down.

“It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.” – Psalm 127:2

Lord, I’m sorry. I turn from the gods I chase after here and toward You. Draw me in, oh Lord my God, and quiet my soul. Draw near to me and fill me with Your presence so that I can rest in You and lay the toil of this life down at the cross. Abba Father, thank you for never giving up on me…for bringing my shortfalls to my attention and allowing me the opportunity to continually come back to You. I’m a work in progress, Lord, and as long as You give me breath to live I will seek to become more like You everyday. Though I fall woefully short, You pick me up time and time again and bring me into Your arms. For that I only know to cry into Your shoulder and weep aloud, “thank you.” Thank you, Lord, thank you. Amen.

That’s my prayer for you as well. Prayerfully, there’s still time in this life to show you better how to slow down and rest in God.

Love,

Dad

A Week’s Prayer Covering – Day 1

June 16, 2015

A Note From Dad Faith, Family , , Leave a comment

 Oh gracious Lord, my God, as I watch them play, I know you’re watching them too. So young and innocent…clueless to the horrors and atrocities that await them in the adult world. Abba Father, shelter their minds and their hearts for as long as You can. I beseech you to only expose them to the pain and the hurt and the suffering this world will offer them as You see need to prepare them for worse to come. As difficult as it is for me to see them hurting, Lord, I pray it be in Your will to do so while I’m here to help them navigate it.

  As their little minds grow with each rock skipped, every stick tossed, each ball thrown, every bubble popped and every frog caught, please continue expanding their minds to explore a world outside their own…to live outside their comfort zone…to never settle for the first answer (unless it’s from me and their mom) 🙂 Ignite a passion in their hearts to live life to the fullest…to seek You with all their heart, mind, soul and body. To never stop searching for Truth…to seek You without ceasing.

  Thank you for blessing me and their mother in choosing us as their parents. What an awesome responsibility you’ve laid at our feet. Oh, but what a greater joy you’ve placed in our hearts. Lead us in leading them, Father. Thank you for the road we’ve already travelled, the smooth and the bumpy. Prepare us for the journey that still lies ahead, and walk with us as we share with them a love like no other…the love of their eternal Father and Creator…the love of your Son. Lord God, it’s in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, I pray these things. In all things may your will be done and to you be the glory and the praise forever. Amen.

Love,

A child of the One True King

Gotta Get Outa The Way!

March 3, 2014

A Note From Dad Faith , , , , , Leave a comment

Are you struggling to overcome something today? Are you tired and weary? Is it not working out for you like you’d hoped? Does it feel like you take a step forward one day, just to fall back three the next? You’re not alone.

The first three verses of Colossians 3 opens with,

“Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.”

We died to this life. “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me.” (Gal 2:20). Believers, we’re dead. D.E.A.D. Dead. That’s pretty clear. If I’m dead, who’s walking around in this body of mine? Who’s writing this note? Who’s reading it? Who’s drinking this cup of coffee? Who’s going to work in 20 minutes?

Christ living in our body…In my life, and in yours. We are raised to walk a new life. A new life in Christ. Where we go, He goes. What we do, He does. What we say, He says. The people we interact with every day know who Christ is by our life…Our actions. Our inaction. Our attitudes. Our words. That’s a really big responsibility.

I’ve been struggling for years to put my old self aside, especially at work with my language and speech. That opening passage of Colossians 3 really jumped off the page right at me this morning. In prayer, this is what God whispered to me.

“You are called to, and for, a higher purpose. You are set apart. Live in such a way that reflects such, son. You cannot overcome your behavior challenges at work. But I can. And I will. As soon as you step aside. Get out of my way and let me.”

Yes, Lord.

You are struggling to overcome something too. Stop struggling. Step aside and let God do what only He can do! Will you join me in getting out of His way so He can change our lives? I’m praying for you this morning.

Love,

Dad

Hope Comes in Many Forms…Where I Am Today

January 8, 2013

A Note From Dad Daily Grind, Random Thoughts , , , , , , , 2 Comments

My head is full. It needs to do what it does when it’s full…vent. There is no order to what comes next, so be forewarned that I’m simply letting loose of the mess currently in my head. My apologies if what you read next is not what you’ve come to expect from me. I’m human, and this is where I am today. Writing is my outlet, so here goes.

Since Saturday, I’ve been in a sort of fog. Haven’t felt close to God. Haven’t felt like much of anything. Worship with dad and my brothers here at church on Sunday was okay, but I just didn’t feel connected to God, ya’ know? Last night, I was searching for the lyrics to a song that express how I’ve been feeling…and all I could remember was “oh God my God, your beloved needs you now.” I don’t remember the song, so it’s probably good that that’s all I can remember.

This morning, a text from my wife asked how I’m doing. I am…

Numb. Alone. Trapped. Spent. Drained. Overwhelmed. Lacking hope. Disconnected from reality…From life…From God. I’ve been better. I’ve been worse. I’ll push through though because that’s what we do. I just want to put closure to this period of life and move forward. I’m an action guy. Waiting is not something I do well. Too much waiting…not enough moving. I’m ready to crawl into the arms of my best friend and our kiddos and not have to make a decision or problem-solve for awhile. I’m ready to come home.

Dad, as you first read this, please know it’s not you or anything you’ve done or not done. It’s just my process. Being with you this week has been a blessing for me more than I’ve shared here yet…sharing that part of all this will come after we have some closure this week…and I hope I’ve blessed you in some small way by being here. I wouldn’t take any of it back or change my choice to stay…it’s just part of being out of routine…away from my wife and children…feelings I’m sure you either already have had, or will, soon after we all leave this weekend.

Yesterday’s hope came through an email from a dear friend on staff at church. The day before that, it came in an email from our Men’s Ministry leader, another good friend. Before that, it came daily in various emails, texts, phone calls and conversations with friends and family back home. Today’s hope comes from a thirteen year old angel…God has been employing her as my angel since the first day I met her in the hospital. Her momma sent me a text this morning that simply read:

Your daughter just prayed for you all by herself. It was so sweet. I looked over at the table and she had eyes closed, head bowed, hands clasped in front of her. And said, “Dear God, please keep my Daddy safe. Amen.”

So yes Lord, your beloved needs you now. Do not forsake me Lord. Your hope comes in many forms…and I have not lost sight of the truth that my hope comes from you. You have met my daily need for hope this past week and a half. SD’s prayer this morning has provided me the hope I need to sustain me today. I’ll take it. Thank you Lord for providing me hope though I deserve nothing.

“but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:31

Love,

Dad

Dancing Through the Snow…with a Beaver and a Prayer

December 6, 2012

A Note From Dad Daily Grind , , , , Leave a comment

Snapshots of what happens when daddy is left unsupervised with three kids for 4 hours:

1. NE sings songs like his daddy. Just because we forget the words, that’s no reason to stop singing. In complete rhythm and tune, without missing a beat: “Dancing through the snow…and I wonder what comes next.”

2. Passing the urgent care I took SI to two weeks ago,

SI: “I went to that doctor before, and he said I have a beaver.”
Me: “A beaver!? You have a beaver? Awesome dude!”
NE: “No dad, not a beaver that eats wood, a beaver that you put the tempature stick in your mouth, and the beaver makes your head hurt.”
Me: “Oh. A beaver would be cool though, right?”
Silence. I think I stunned him.

3. I’m proud that NE has my debating skills…even when he uses them on me. Now we need to work on stopping while he’s ahead. In pleading his case for keeping his glass, chocolate milk bottle, I conceded and agreed to not trash it after he successfully pointed out that he rinsed it out with water and it’s not yucky anymore. Then as he takes the bottle from me and is walking away, he continues to argue his point…which occurs more often than not, and always ends with me saying “you successfully won the point son. Stop talking now or I’ll change my mind for no other reason than because I’m the dad…and I can.”

4. Dinner table conversation:
NE: “Mom says ____ is a bad word, and we shouldn’t say it.”
Dad: “I agree. I don’t like that word either.”
SI: “When we say ____, will momma spank our butts?”
NE: “No, momma won’t spank us if we say ____.”
SI: “Mommy and daddy will not spank our butts if we say ____?”
NE: “Nope.”
Dad: “If you don’t stop saying it right now, I’m gonna spank you right here in front of everyone.”
SI: “If I say ____, you’re gonna spank my butt?”
Dad: “Yes.”
SI: (with look of shock on his face) “Oh. Then I will not say ____ because I don’t want you to spank my butt if I say ____.”
Dad: “Thank you.”
SI: (after long pause) Why can I not say ____? Is ____ a bad word?”
Dad: “Yes, it’s a bad word, and I don’t like it.
SI: “Okay. I will not say ____, because I no want you spank my butt.”
Dad: “That’s great. Thank you.”
SI: “You’re welcome. Cuz I don’t want you to spank my butt if I say ____.”
Dad: “I don’t think you’re getting it son.”
SI: “I will get it when I say ____, and you spank my butt.”
Me: (fighting back a smile) “Yes son. Yes you will. While we’re here, I don’t like butt either. Can we say bottom instead please?”
Repeat conversation. Ugh.

At least there’s hope in the final moments of the night. For the first time in a long time, the boys played together for 20 minutes without the poking of any eyeballs, smacking of any bottoms, pushing each other down the stairs or belly bombs off the couch to break the other’s arms. I only had to raise my voice during bedtime routine once (yes…that’s an improvement…sad, I know). And rather than fighting for a spot beside me at prayer time, NE wanted to sit by his little brother and hugged him throughout the prayer…that he prayed. It’s been awhile since NE has wanted to pray, and he willingly offered twice tonight. I wish I could take credit, but I’m not into pushing my luck. At this rate, we’re overdue for an AFLAC claim. I should have invested in AFLAC’s heart attack policy. Odds are in our favor there. Night night.

Love,

Dad

The Storm Within

September 13, 2012

A Note From Dad Faith , , , , , 2 Comments

It’s dark in here. The darkness is soul-piercing. It’s an evil kind of darkness, that has enveloped me. The cold that lives here in the dark is alive. It moves and sways around me. I cannot escape it, though my soul yearns for warmth and light. My mind cries out for it, and I cannot find the refuge I seek in it. The light, and the warmth it provides, has escaped me. I so desperately need your warmth and light Lord.

As I sit here in the dark, my emotions are painfully at the forefront of all I do. I do not like dealing with my emotions, and I am now swimming in a sea of them. They churn around me, tossing me to and fro, like a small boat in a turbulent ocean. They crash over me in waves, threatening to capsize me with every toss. They are never ending, and ever changing. In one moment, I’m sad and grief-stricken. In the next, I’m angry and filled with rage. In the next, I’m isolated and alone. The constant barrage is endless, always hitting me when I least expect it. Throwing me off balance in the least convenient of times.

It is wearing on me. I’m tired. Physically, I feel like I’ve run a marathon, knowing another marathon awaits me. And yet I feel somewhat catatonic. Disassociated. Like I’m walking in a fog. Apart from the reality of the life going on around me. Mentally, I’m done. Exhausted. Emotionally, I passed the point of exhaustion long ago, and yet I carry on because by your design, my emotions have to go where I go. I long for peace and cannot find it. I search for joy, and it hides from me. My mind and soul desire rest, and it escapes me at every turn. I don’t think I have much left to give. I do not want to be short-tempered and without compassion toward my children any longer. I do not want to be lacking in patience and gentleness. It’s not by any fault of theirs that I am here, and I struggle to not take it out on their precious, trusting and innocent little souls. Lord, I cannot continue on like this.

Father, you knit me together in the womb and knew me before time began. You held me when I was without form, and you made me who I am. I believe with all my soul that I am here for a reason. I do not know what that is, and I don’t think I could handle knowing it right now if you revealed it to me. But I know and believe that you have a plan for this. And for me. I know you are still working on and in me, molding me into the child you want me to be when I return home to you. I know that this life holds grief, loss, and struggles. I believe in the power of your name. I believe in the shelter and protection provided in your embrace. I believe in the grace and mercy you provide through your Son. I am not worthy of your love and affection, Lord. I ask only this Lord.

Help me to find peace within the chaos of my soul. Help me to ward off the devil, as he is so very much at the root of the evil stirring up within me. If I am to be here in this present darkness for a spell, Father please strengthen me for the journey. I pray my spiritual preparation before now is enough to carry me through. If my journey in this valley is to endure, please light a glimmer of hope within me so that I may walk toward You. Please help me to learn what you would want me to learn through this. My suffering is nothing in comparison to what you endured on the cross for me. Forgive me of my sin so that my prayer may be heard.

I draw upon your guidance, found in James 1:2-3 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” Lord, help me to find the joy you speak of. A joy I remember feeling once. A joy I know only comes through you.

Father, calm the storm within me and help me to seek you daily. I know that I am not alone, that you are carrying me. That I can find you when I stop and look. Help me to be still, Lord, and listen for you. To watch for you. To allow you to speak to me. To be still and know that you are God, and I am not. To seek your Light. For it’s only by your Light that I will be saved from this storm within.

Love,

Your faithful child and servant

My Deepest Condolences

June 7, 2011

A Note From Dad D.W., Family , , , , 1 Comment

DW, where do I even begin?  We’ve had a rough go, haven’t we?  If I could go back and start over, I think I would.  There aren’t many things in my life I would say that about.  I believe that our mistakes…our hardships…our struggles…our adversity…they help to define us.  They make us who we are.  They are the steps that take us down the path of our life.  Changing even one can have a ripple effect that would change our life altogether…take us down a completely different path and alter our life forever.

There are things with you that I would do differently, though…knowing what I know now.  Having the information we had at the time, I believe we did the best we knew how.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough.  Those are my demons to deal with now, and I’m forced to move on.  Not for the reasons you may think, but because three other children are relying on me now.  I pray I learn from our relationship and apply those lessons to your adoptive siblings.  I believe God used the six years you were in our home to accomplish His will.  We may never know what that is while we’re on this side of eternity, but I believe He knew exactly what He was doing.  I have an idea what I think that might be…but that’s not something I’m read to share.

I’m writing this today because I learned yesterday of the passing of your grandma.  I am sorry for your loss.  I truly am.  Through all our differences and disagreements…through our arguments, harsh words and hurt feelings…through all of it…my heart hurts for the pain and loss you’re surely feeling.  I know she was a HUGE part of you…a “rock“ in the stream of your life.  I pray the pain subsides quickly, though I know the void left in her absence cannot be filled.  I know the loss of a close loved one is extremely difficult, and I pray you and your family are comforted through surrounding each other with love.  I pray that the memorial service for her was filled with loved ones come to honor her life.  I pray that you can find comfort in Jesus’ arms and that God would use this difficult time in your life to draw you closer to Him.

I pray for a day when we can reconcile our relationship.  If that day does not come in my life, I will continue to pray for your safety and your relationship with God for as long as I live.  Be safe son.

Love,

Jay

My Quiver is Full

June 3, 2011

A Note From Dad D.W., Family, N.E., S.D., S.I. , , , 2 Comments

I’m sitting here in a flood of emotion today, and it occurs to me that I think I was wrong in what started this passion for writing to you all.  When I started this blog in February 2011, I credited this post for the inspiration behind it all.  This morning, I just finished this note to SD, and as I sit here reflecting on the years gone by, I’m reminded of a little “song” I put together several years ago.  It’s been so long since I’ve seen it, it took me awhile to find it.  I call it a song loosely, because I have no musical talent…I couldn’t put together the musical composition needed to actually create a full-fledged song if I had to.  But, this is the song of my heart.  When I wrote it, I had a desire to really tell you…to show you through words and music how I feel about each of you.  I actually first wrote it shortly after NE was born, in August of 2007, and I went back after SI was born to add a section for you, adding your section in the summer of 2010, shortly after your first birthday.

It’s a dream of mine to be able to sing this to you one day…to have a song we could call our own.  Maybe a musically gifted person will read this one day and help us out with that.  🙂  For now, I’ll have to settle for sharing it here in letter form…if it never goes further than this, I’m good with that so long as you know it was written in love and lots of tears for each of you.  You each mean so much to me that words could never accurately display.  Without further delay, here is the inspiration that started it all:

Psalm 127:3-5
Sons are a heritage from the Lord,
children a reward from Him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their
enemies in the gate.

This song is inspired by each of my 4 “arrows“

My Quiver Is Full

SD
When we took you in, my walk was weak.
Trapped in my sin, of God I didn’t speak.
Doctors said your heart was broke; needed repair.
To my knees I fell, in desperate prayer.
God’s plans are bigger than our own.
And now I know, it was my heart He needed to sew.
 
DW
Through no fault of your own,
Strangers came in; took you from your home.
I can’t grasp the pain you’ve seen, the hurt you’ve known.
God’s plans are bigger than our own.
It was I who needed healing, more love in my life;
He blessed ME when He brought you to our home.
 
Chorus:
As arrows for the warrior, our children are born
I’m the soldier He chose to reward.
My quiver has more than I ever dreamed
He’s given me more than I’ll ever need.
You’re the arrows of my quiver
Straight, strong, and true.
My arrow, my child from God
My reward from Him is you.
 
NE
Doctors said we’d never conceive.
In the world’s eyes, you were never s’posed to be.
The day you were born, to my knees I fell; cried like never before,
In awe of how perfect you were.
God’s plans are bigger than our own.
God’s gift to me…to bless me despite my sin.
 
SI
With news of you on the way, I laughed aloud; a sign from above
I needed more joy; more room still, for love.
Your laugh, your smile, you light up the room
God’s plans are bigger than our own.
In rhythm now, our lives in harmony
In you, God completed our family.
 
Chorus:
As arrows for the warrior, our children are born
I’m the soldier He chose to reward.
My quiver has more than I ever dreamed
He’s given me more than I’ll ever need.
You’re the arrows of my quiver
Straight, strong, and true.
My arrow, my child from God
My reward from Him is you.
 
My quiver overflows with my reward.
My child, you’re wonderful; beautiful.
Created in His image; phenomenal.
My quiver is full.  My quiver is full.




Love, Dad

Feeding the Right Nature

February 24, 2011

A Note From Dad Life Lessons, Moral Lessons , , , Leave a comment

Originally written December 7, 2010

Within every believer dwells two natures: the flesh and the spirit. they share the same environment, same body, same eyes, ears and other senses. Each of these natures wants to rule our heart and mind. The one that eats best is the one that thrives. As I write this, God has started a new work in me within the last few years. Even within the last month or so, He has started to bring me closer to Him. I used to watch some of the goriest movies and TV shows, and they actually really interested me. I was never appalled at the graphic images I was placing in front of my eyes. And I called myself a Christian, a follower, a believer in the One and only God the Father of Jesus Christ…the man who stepped down from His rightful place at the side of God to stand in my place at the cross…to take my punishment and offer me a way to eternity with God in heaven.

As I write this, you are now 10, 3 and 1 respectively. God has convicted my heart of what I’ve been doing…of the sin in my life. How can I abhor the thought of Christ’s crucifixion and yet subject my flesh…my mind…my heart…to all that He stood to denounce? The very nature of sin is that it corrupts the heart and mind. All sin is equal in the eyes of the Father. He views murder as equally as He does hatred…adultery as equally as lustful thoughts. All sin is equal in His eyes, and His eyes are so divine and perfect that He can’t look upon sin, so much so that He turned His eyes away from His own Son, Jesus Christ, as He died on the cross for the very sin that put Him there in the first place.

Each nature is fueled by very different “foods”. The spirit is fed by Bible study, prayer, fellowship with other Christians and service to others. The flesh craves things like violent video games, TV shows filled with casual sex, movies of a graphic nature and songs celebrating recreational drug use, laziness, greed, and pride. Both natures are in constant battle with each other within Christians, fighting for control of our heart and mind. As one flourishes, the other is deprived of its fuel and eventually decays. It is the constant struggle of Christians, and of me, to see to it that the Spirit prevails. Our goal is to become more like Christ. We will never be perfect while on this earth, but it is our hope to one day be perfect as we join Him in heaven. For as long as we are on this earth, we should be working to be more like Christ. It is not until God has deemed us ready to enter into His kingdom that He calls us home.

I have been guilty of segmenting my life…separating my church life from my TV and movie life, and even my work life. And for a long time, I carried on as though this wasn’t a problem…as though this wasn’t a conflict of interest. I would go to church on Sunday morning and by Sunday night be watching TV that I would never even consider watching in church, having conversations I would never have with Jesus. By Monday, God would be on the back burner as I carried on with work and my relationships outside of church. I wonder if there are other Christians brave enough to admit the same?

I am working to bring these compartmentalized parts of our life back together and let God be the God of everything I consume. Americans are so obsessed with what we eat, but in many cases completely ignorant of what we consume in media. I have been…until now. At this young age in your lives, I am taking great effort to control what nature we are feeding within you. The time will come when I have less and less ability to help shape your lives…you will have matured into young adults who seek to discover yourselves without my support or input. It is my prayer and hope that between now and that day, I have instilled in you a deeply-rooted foundation that is fed through the Spirit, and not the flesh. You will surely have strong desire to feed the flesh, and it is my goal to have the Spirit so deeply rooted in your lives that the flesh is drowned out by the Spirit.

As you mature into adults and seek to discover yourself, feast your eyes, ears, minds and hearts upon what is lasting. The trends and fads of this world are ever-changing. They come and go as quickly as the seasons change…as quickly as you have grown from infants to the young children you are now as I type this. Not one to just tell you what to do, I want to provide you with HOW to feed your spirit. Learn from my mistakes and feed your Spirit with the following four things:

1. God’s Word – How can we know the things of God but to read His word. He’s given us His inerrant, infallible, perfectly written word.  Psalm 1: 1-3 says: “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers, but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.”

What an encouragement this passage is to us…to know that by reading and meditating on God’s word, we prosper and bear fruit.  We can find His will for our lives throughout the Bible. Every aspect of our lives is covered in the Bible. Everything from finances to sex…from peer pressure to death. It’s all covered in there. It is a guide for how we should live…HOW we seek to be more Christlike. He doesn’t expect you to be perfect…because He knows you can’t be…only Christ was sinless. The Bible is your handbook for life. To know how to respond in any situation…when faced with temptations, you have to know the Bible. When you hide Scripture in your heart, you don’t always need to have it in your mind where to find it exactly. When it’s in your heart, you know right from wrong. When it’s in your heart, you can rely on what He has given you to be able to discern right from wrong…your conscience. It is your conscience that will help to guide you along the path He has laid out for you. When something doesn’t “feel quite right”…when you get a “funny feeling” in the pit of your stomach, THAT is God talking to you through your conscience. Listen to it…it is seldom wrong. You don’t always have to know exactly where in the Bible to find it, but if you hide it in your heart, it will come to you when you need it. That’s the Holy Spirit working in your life. You hide scripture in your heart by reading it regularly and by studying it. Studying requires more effort than simply reading it. To study it means you need to research it…to find supporting and correlating scripture. To read the context of whatever favorite verse you’re quoting, so that you know in what context it was used and given to us. While it’s nice to take just a verse out and apply it to our life, to be responsible to God’s word, we need to understand why it was written and what was occurring beforehand and afterward. Read the verses before and after each of your favorite verses. I can’t remember the location of half of the verses I know by heart. But I know them, and I rely upon them when I need them, even though I can’t always find them in the Bible easily.

2. Prayer – Prayer comes in many shapes and sizes. It comes in the daily kneeling at bedtime. It comes in the moments lying in bed as you fall asleep. It comes in the quick “shout up” as you hear a friend’s prayer request. It comes as the desperate plea in your times of suffering. It comes at the table as you say grace for your meal. It comes in the car as you’re driving and think of a need. It comes in the deliberate time of fervent pleading with God for the protection of your family when they’re hurting. God has been convicting me recently that my prayer life is not as healthy as it should be, as indicated in another note, FIRST FOUR MINUTES. Make time in you life for active conversation with God, a time when you not only pray TO Him, but a time when you sit quietly and LISTEN to Him. Some of the best conversations I’ve had with God have come when I simply sit with closed eyes and allow Him to open my heart. It’s all good to ask Him to meet your needs. But do you take time to listen for the answer? My father, your Papa, once (several times) told me “you’ve got one mouth and two ears for a reason. Shut your mouth and listen up.” Over the years, I’ve discovered for myself how true that really is. We should spend twice as much time listening as we do talking (not just in our prayer life, but in our relationships too). It’s in those listening moments that we HEAR God. Take time to listen.

3. Fellowship with Fellow Christians – Earlier when I was talking about how when you hide God’s word in your heart, you don’t always have to know exactly where to find it. Fellowship with other believers helps you with this. Just the other day, I was looking to provide encouragement to a fellow Christian and dear friend. I had scripture in mind that I wanted to provide him. I was able to quote it almost word for word. But I couldn’t remember where it is found in the Bible, and I really wanted to provide the location so that brother could go find it for himself. Thank God for modern technology, because in the day of instant communication across country, I was able to find a Christian friend online. When I asked him if he knew where to find the verse I was thinking of, he not only gave me the one I was looking for, he found me another that complimented it. Wow! That is what fellowship with fellow believers is for…to help us bounce our problems and concerns off one another…to lean on each other in our times of need.

NE, when you were about 18 months old you found your way into some prescription medicine and swallowed several pills intended for adult treatment. Without knowing the circumstances of how many you took, and as you were becoming very lethargic, we rushed you to the hospital via ambulance. I had the horror of taking that call from your mother while actually working the 911 dispatch center. It was all I could do to keep from breaking down and crying as I dispatched the ambulance to our home for you. That in itself is something I hope to never experience again. When I met you and your mother at the hospital, you came off that ambulance, and I knew right away that something wasn’t right…you were not yourself. As the medical staff worked to determine how serious the situation was, the doctors told us we were in for a long night as they monitored your condition…that the medicine you took could cause you to go into cardiac arrest. It was then that I knew what we were dealing with was far beyond what we could face alone as your mother and father. We needed help…not only from God, but in support from friends. I made one phone call to a dear friend and simply asked for his prayer. Within 30 minutes the hospital room was filled with friends coming to our side…in prayer for you and in support for us. Even people I did not personally know felt called to come to our side at the hospital. I am so deeply touched by that moment that I am moved to tears even as I write this out. This occurred on a Wednesday night, and I learned later that over 50 members of our church were actively praying for you at the same time. Fellowship with fellow Christians…this is what you get when you have Christian fellowship in your life…a support system like no other.

4. Service to Others – I have been blessed with the calling to serve as League Director for the Upward Sports ministry for three years as of this writing. In addition, I help with several ministries within the church. It is through these opportunities to serve others that I have found true joy. God calls us to serve others. Jesus Christ himself washed the feet of His disciples. Can you picture that for a moment? Jesus Christ, the Most Holy Son of God left his throne…left Heaven…to come down to a sin-filled world to wash feet…to serve others. It is my hope that over the years I have instilled in you a passion and desire to help those who need it…to serve others. Not out of a sense of obedience or because you know you should. But because you want to. I enjoy serving others…more so now as I’ve matured. It is in the moments I’m serving others, that I fell closest to God. God blesses us with the earthly treasures we have so that me might share them with Him…with those less fortunate…to bring glory to Him. Use what God has given you for others. Your Time. Your Talents. Your Treasures. All were given to you by God. He gives and He takes away. Honor God by giving of your 3 T’s sacrificially. I saw a short movie clip in church once. A man brings a gift of a dozen donuts to a friend. After giving him the donuts, he asks for one back. The recipient of the donuts doesn’t want to give one back. He pleads his case, “I need all ten of these.” While we all know he doesn’t need them, in fact he didn’t even know he had them coming to him until he was presented with the gift. Yet he is too selfish to share one back to the person who so kindly and generously gave them to him in the first place. How often do we do that with our Time, Talent and Treasures? All that we have is God’s, on loan to us to use for His glory…to bring honor and glory to Him. It’s not mine to share. I am just the broker for his “stuff”, charged with the responsibility for its care while I’m here. I know I’ve been guilty of hoarding onto what God has given me for myself, and it’s my prayer and hope that I continue to let go of all that I have so that you can grow up with an example of what true giving and service is.

“For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.” – Galatians 5:17

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” – Proverbs 4:23

“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.” – Colossians 2:8

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” – Philippians 4:8

Remember that I love you no matter the situation. You can never do anything to take that love away. You don’t have to do anything to earn it. It’s yours freely.

Father God, please continue your work in me and convict my heart when I am presented with opportunities to feed the flesh. Convict me, oh Lord, and help me to turn away from it so that I may feed my Spirit. Continue your work in me that I may be who you’ve called me to be, so that my children may learn from my mistakes and fellowship in the Spirit with you.

Love,

Dad

Older Entries