What is it about being a parent that incites so many varying emotions within such a short time frame? Did God intend parenting to be such a crazy roller coaster? I know He never said it would be easy…I get that. But how is it that I can I go from a Sunday night bed time that has me stressed to the ends of my tolerance for arguing, bickering, fighting and yelling…ready to throw in the towel and claim my prize as world’s worst dad…ready to take you to a stranger’s house and unleash hell upon them (because I don’t think I could do that to a friend)…to Monday morning less than 12 hours later, feeling sad that you’re all leaving me home alone?
I mean really! Just last night I was praying for a break. And now as two are safely on the bus to school, the youngest is wrapping his arms around my neck, hugging me tightly with “I Lub Ooh Daddy” coming from such a sweet little face. And, what is this new emotion? Is that sadness? How is that possible? Last night I was looking forward to a quiet, peaceful day, and now I’m wishing I could spend the day with you. No wonder I have grey hair. My own body is going crazy trying to learn how to love you. But I do. I love you! I just have to learn how to ride the roller coaster of love better.
P.S. By the way, it’s sarcasm. Meant to incite laughter, albeit however sick and twisted that might be. I would never actually drop you off at a stranger’s house. That would not be a safe and prudent parenting decision. No, I’d just leave you in bed and take a long drive to nowhere. 🙂 I believe deep down in the psyche of every parent that’s ever lived, a similar thought has crossed their minds at one point or another during the raising of their kids. The difference between parenting success and parenting failure is the thin line we walk between momentarily thinking it…and actually doing it. If you make it to adulthood with me not being incarcerated, you’ll know I chose the wiser path. And when you have kids of your own, you’ll finally know what I’m talking about.