DW, where do I even begin?  We’ve had a rough go, haven’t we?  If I could go back and start over, I think I would.  There aren’t many things in my life I would say that about.  I believe that our mistakes…our hardships…our struggles…our adversity…they help to define us.  They make us who we are.  They are the steps that take us down the path of our life.  Changing even one can have a ripple effect that would change our life altogether…take us down a completely different path and alter our life forever.

There are things with you that I would do differently, though…knowing what I know now.  Having the information we had at the time, I believe we did the best we knew how.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough.  Those are my demons to deal with now, and I’m forced to move on.  Not for the reasons you may think, but because three other children are relying on me now.  I pray I learn from our relationship and apply those lessons to your adoptive siblings.  I believe God used the six years you were in our home to accomplish His will.  We may never know what that is while we’re on this side of eternity, but I believe He knew exactly what He was doing.  I have an idea what I think that might be…but that’s not something I’m read to share.

I’m writing this today because I learned yesterday of the passing of your grandma.  I am sorry for your loss.  I truly am.  Through all our differences and disagreements…through our arguments, harsh words and hurt feelings…through all of it…my heart hurts for the pain and loss you’re surely feeling.  I know she was a HUGE part of you…a rock in the stream of your life.  I pray the pain subsides quickly, though I know the void left in her absence cannot be filled.  I know the loss of a close loved one is extremely difficult, and I pray you and your family are comforted through surrounding each other with love.  I pray that the memorial service for her was filled with loved ones come to honor her life.  I pray that you can find comfort in Jesus’ arms and that God would use this difficult time in your life to draw you closer to Him.

I pray for a day when we can reconcile our relationship.  If that day does not come in my life, I will continue to pray for your safety and your relationship with God for as long as I live.  Be safe son.

Love,

Jay

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